Some days it feels like a lesson to wait, a lesson that I can appreciate and value. Other days, it is so much hurry up and wait that my legs and insides itch. It is definitely much easier to be in the driver‘s seat than waiting for responses or results. Wait for insurance, wait for referral, wait for plan, wait for next appointment, wait for water to boil, waiting for chemo to work, wait for the worst side effects to subside.

Breath work, regular meditation, daily movement, and a little bit of trust in the Universe helps ease the discomfort of waiting.

The results from the PET scan reveal slowing of my metastatic growths. This was a huge win, with no new growths is massive. I didn’t know the imaging would be such a relief, but to know that chemo is doing SOMETHING other than making me feel awful for 3-5 days every two weeks is huge. It also allows me to have hope that there really may be an end to this part of the journey. The hope has activated a response in me that includes understanding more about dietary/nutrition supports, social supports, and movement for being more fit and ready for the next steps. I am moving forward with looking on adding more community based yoga instruction back into my non-chemo weeks (light movement, children classes, and Women’s circle). Purpose has snuck back in to my life.

At the end of the month we will have a visit with the liver specialists in the surgical oncology program at CU Anschutz. Their team offers the possibility for targeted therapy and possible surgical removal of the lesions on my liver. Communication between DH and UCH has been the classic of “who is running the show”, but the nurse navigators are doing their best at keeping us informed. Navigating my own responsibilities in this process has definitely kept me busy.

Glimmers continue daily, and I truly appreciate those who have stepped up for this marathon through letters, texts, care packages, dinners, and love. Next round, we will be half way through systemic chemo, something to celebrate.

Mantras: Trust the Universe. Go straight for the liver. Choose action.

Music:

Dave Matthews Band, Two Step (Live)