My holiday season has gifted me such special moments of warmth, gratitude, and peace, and of course the very real moments of kids melting down, personal reflections, and exposure of some of my own ongoing physical fatigue. I have been trying to absorb each moment, making sure to take mental photographs and memorizing lived feelings. There have been so many people to thank for their support, love and kindness in this past year as well as through the holiday season.

In reflection on the past year, it is the people who have made all the difference. Those who did, and continue to, show up with compassion and have witnessed our experiences; you are deep in my soul. To those who have loved on the boys and become family, I am forever indebted. To Jon, who showed up, each day, when I couldn’t, and allowed me to fully rest and allowed me to be on a road to recovery, you are an entity that I must have known in a past life. I can’t imagine walking this journey with anyone else. May there be ample time together to continue to heal each others wounds from the past year and enough gratitude and love to keep us both whole.

To my boys, gosh, I don’t even know where to begin. You continue to stretch my abilities; capacity to love, ability to see joy, and offer me so many opportunities to grow. It’s bizarre how we expect to show our children the world, but when we listen and pay attention, they are teaching us the world. You are the most important, I am grateful to get to know you, all parts of you. How could such small humans become the greatest motivation; to live and breathe as many moments possible with. You give meaning when all else seems lost.

Tommy, the golden/basset hound/border collie wonder… thanks for adding to the chaos. Thank you for always being a go for adventures. Thank you for keeping me moving during the last few rounds of chemo.

On to the New Year, a gift we fought so hard for. May I be lucky enough to have many more.

Mantras:

Thank you Universe. Breathe.

Music:

Black Keys, “Howling for you”