Though the days are getting shorter, I keep feeling closer to connection and closer to life. It is fascinating traveling out of survival mode into the world of the living. The cold air feels good this year, the stars before bed and in the morning seem brighter and closer. The sunsets and sunrises are spectacular this year. I missed the Earth.

This is the first year, in a long time, that the holidays have felt warm and inviting. We were able to be so thankful on Thanksgiving. We were surrounded by love and good food. I was able to put a new green bean casserole recipe to use.

I have been able to be more present. Some of the haze is lifting from “chemo brain”, my neuropathy and balance are slowly improving due to some hard work, acupuncture, PT, and willing things to improve. No more falls, and water no longer hurts. My GI tract still seems to be trying to figure out a new normal, but making adjustments. Two MASSIVE improvements; (1) I have gone on a couple jogs and (2) I have enough balance back for yoga. I have been so grateful to return to a flow, and have been better about my breath and meditation work as well.

There’s still A LOT of processing happening regarding what my body has been through this past year. I am leaning more heavily on my support groups and my people. It’s definitely an interesting in between time, especially when everything looks normal on the outside. There are still tears, of frustration and struggle, but hope of each day is wonderful.

So grateful to have returned to a more reliable homeschool groove as well. We have been focusing a lot on the festive parts of the season and personalized interests.

January holds a lot of changes; back to work, back to leading community classes on the mat, and a variety of new appointments. I am so thankful for this journey; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

For now, I am still able to prioritize a balance of rest and movement. There are still days that require rest and stillness due to exhaustion. I still have this slow down and trying to savor this moment in time. So grateful that we have more than we need this season, especially after this harrowing journey.

Mantras:

Thank you Universe. Breathe life.

Music:

Mama’s Broke, “What Can May Come”